April 7, 2016

It should NOT be this difficult!!!  My new rheumy is putting  me on a new medication (Cellcept.)  My pharmacy said that it is not approved by my insurance.  Last night I called my insurance and they told me that the pharmacy needed to call and get a one time override so I didn’t have to wait for the meds.  After that, I would have to order my refills through them direct.  So I called the pharmacy back and told them.  They took the info.

This morning I checked my RX status and it still was sitting in the pending as insurance will not cover it.  I called them this morning and told them the above and they were to call me back.  I receive a call back and they told me the insurance company told them that I had to call them for it.  Which I told them that I had last night.

Anyway, I call the insurance again, however, they told me their system was down and they wanted me to call back in an hour.  I called back in an hour, finally got someone and she got the override done and told me to call the pharmacy to rerun it and it should go through.  Called the pharmacy and it went through!  OMG it was like pulling teeth trying to get ALL the information needed so that my RX could be filled.

Now going forward, my rheumy has to send the insurance company my script so when it comes time for refill, I have to get it refilled direct through them.  LOL, so … on to my next adventure!!

March 15, 2016

I’ve been a little sad these past couple of days. Hubby and I had a fight on Sunday.  I wanted to go to church without him.  I can still drive, but for some reason he doesn’t think I’m able.  The reason I wanted to go by myself, well, he can be kind of a jerk when we go to a new church.  I didn’t want to put up with his attitude and I really wanted some time alone without having to worry about what he’s thinking, doing, or whatever.

I had told him the night before that I was going to try and go to church on Sunday.  He asked where, and I told him, and that was the end of it.  On Sunday as I’m getting dressed, he jumps out of bed and gets all mad that I didn’t say anything about going.  I told him that I was going to drive and he jumped all over that and said, “No, I’m not going to let you kill yourself!”  Really??!!  Where in the heck did that come from??  I have NO plans for that, but it really bothered me that he would say such a thing.  Then he says, “What do I tell our son, if something happens?”  Again, Really??!!  *Sigh*  Needless to say, we went to church.  I hate walking on eggshells as I’ve done that most of our married life!

No, I’ve not brought it up again for fear of what may come out of my mouth.  I’m hurt and sad that he would think such things.  All I wanted to do was worship God and be in His presence in His house.

Today on Facebook, this was in my feed, “Whenever you feel unloved, unimportant or insecure, remember to whom you belong.”  Ephesians 2:9

It’s so comforting that He lets me know that He sees and knows what I’m going through.  I can’t get through my life with my disease without Him.  I just wish my hubby could understand that.

March 14, 2016

What is your passion?  What do you wake up wanting to do?  If you could not fail at anything, what is that one thing you would do?

I’ve lost sight of my passion.  I used to know what I wanted to do no matter what, but I do not even know what that is anymore.

Am I lost?  I don’t know.  I think I’m just in muck.  Trying to understand why my body doesn’t work and what I’m supposed to do.

February 26, 2016

Oh, it looked so close!!  The PCH prize patrol looked like they were in the Midwest where hogs, corn & soybeans were the state’s commodity.  It was promising until the next clue was, the winner does NOT live in the capital of his or her state.  LOL, well that takes me out!!  Bummer … $5,000 a week.  What would you do with that???

It’s been awhile since I’ve played the computer keyboard.  I may hunt and peck on the tablet or phone, but to actually be typing, well, not so much.  Main reason is that I hit the wrong keys while typing.  Not because I don’t know how, as I could, at one point, type 70+ words per minute, but, my hand doesn’t stretch that little bit to reach the next key, just out of the position.  It also may not help that my hands are sitting at an angle.

I’ve been a bit on the blah side.  I’m not sure if I’ve lost my purpose of why I’m here on this earth or if I’m frustrated at the realization of what my body is going through and further realization that I have this f)*&%%g disease!  The anger part is sitting just under the skin and can erupt without too much provocation.  Unfortunately, it’s at hubby.  Sometimes he deserves it, sometimes he doesn’t.  Yes, I do drop F Bombs when I’m angry.  The sailor in me comes out and I wasn’t even in the Navy!!

This month is our annual physical month.  Hubby’s had to do his tests and now I have to do mine.  I’m not happy about the camera up the bum.  The doc wanted to know why I didn’t do it last year.   I told him that I was poked and prodded enough last year, that I refused to go.  So, I guess I’ll have to go this year.  Then I’ll be good for another 10 years … well on that test anyway.

I also have to get a mammogram.  Ugh, my records are in Nevada, so they will have to contact them to get those so they can be compared.  The doc showed hubby how to do my monthly breast exam.  My hands don’t flatten out, so I cannot properly do one (not that I ever did before).  LOL, I was changing shirts and hubby looked at me and said, “Is it time for a breast exam again?”  That cracked me up!

This getting old sh*t is getting, well, old!!  Tests, exams, medications, why in the world did I want to be older when I was a kid?!?!  Oh wait, my youth wasn’t that great.  It was sprinkled with little bits of greatness followed by fear, disappointment, & sadness.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being near 3 of our grandchildren and seeing them every week.  They take away my blues and blahs, but when I’m not with them, I sit in this apartment watching the tele as my brain starts to lose it’s knowledge.  I’m not alone, as it is happening to hubby too.  I know we need to figure out what to do to keep us going, but sometimes, that seems a bit too much like work!  I did get to drive the other day as he was still loopy from his medical test.  It was quite fun and I should do that more often.  I’ll have to make small jaunts here and there, just so that I can feel a little more free.  The walls start to close in on me and it doesn’t help that winter was upon us.  Today is a beautiful day and I’m inside, marinating chicken wings to make fried Adobo wings.  It sounded good to me.  Not sure what I’m making with them, as I’m not as creative as my son.

Tomorrow morning, we are taking our grandson to his ice hockey tournament.  His team is 1st in his league, so he doesn’t have to be there until 10am.  I am excited to go and watch them play.  Near the ice rink is a store called Kolache Factory.  OMGosh … my son took me there last weekend, it was quite good and I look forward to stopping there tomorrow!!    So that’s my looking forward thing for this weekend.  I need to create more looking forward things each week, so I can get out of my rut.

Here’s hoping you all have a great weekend and thanks for stopping by my little blog!!

January 22, 2016

I recently caught a glimpse of my backside in the mirror today.  I knew I was losing condition there, but it reminded me of a baby elephant that one of the presenters named, “Wrinkly Bottom”.  His mom also had a very wrinkly bottom, however, the baby was very brave and would challenge the vehicle by lifting up its head and trunk, holding out his ears to look bigger.  At times, he would rear up on his hind legs.  Baby ellies are so funny when they do that.  He would charge and stop when the vehicle didn’t move.  When he looked around, he realized that the rest of the herd had moved off, he ran toward his mom, with his tail straight out behind him.  It had been a while since we saw Mr. Wrinkly Bottom.  We saw him the other day on game drive.  He wasn’t in a playful mood as he just kept running after mom.  So that’s what my rear reminded me of … Mr. Wrinkly Bottom!

January 15, 2016

I’ve recently said to a friend that I accept and love her for who she is, the good, the bad & the ugly.  This got me to thinking, that she is more family to  me than a friend.  Which then got me thinking, what are the definitions of each?

Well, according to Merriam-Webster, these are the definitions:

Family:  A group of people who are related to each other

Friend:  One attached to each other by affection or esteem

I got to thinking, isn’t that supposed to be what is a family, attached to each other by affection or esteem?  I thought Merriam-Webster had them switched.  However, reading and hearing the news, people are demonstrating that they are just a group of people who are related to each other.  They lack the affection and esteem toward one another.  That thought made me sad.  My parents taught us that we are family through thick  and thin and that we are to love and respect each of our siblings as sometimes they may be all you have.

As I described my friend above, the actual definition of friend applies.  I think there should be a word in between that describes a friend that is more like family … Framily?  Famiend?  Familfriend?   LOL … I don’t know, but a combination of both.  I suppose Friend will do for now, if I go with the Merriam-Webster definition.  But she is family, as the saying goes, a sister from another mister!!

I am blessed to have family that are friends as well as friends who are family.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I just hope I can pass that on to my next generation.

 

January 12, 2016

Last night hubby was going through boxes and found my school transcripts.  It showed I went to Kindergarten at a public school.  I remember going to a Parochial school for six years, but had no recollection of going to Kindergarten at this one school.  I kept thinking and thinking and yeah, nothing was coming to my brain.

I sent a message to my oldest friend, one that’s known me forever and asked her.  She gave me names of the two teachers at that time.  They both sounded familiar, so I wasn’t sure.  The teacher she had, she described her room and what she looked like and even where her room was at the school.  LOL, I don’t even remember going to that school.  It was amazing that she had these vivid memories and I had nothing.

As I thought about it, I remember bits and pieces, but nothing that is enough to make any sense.  For the six years at the Parochial school, I remember the playground, where & which classrooms were which, the principal, the teachers, but I could not describe each room or some of the teachers.  For my first three grades, it was easy as they were nuns and wore the same habit.  But the civilian teachers … nope.  I do know I had one teacher for 4th & 6th grade.  After that I went to a public junior high.  Now I do have memories of those year … well, more than my elementary years.

Why is it some people of great memories from childhood?  My hubby is the same way.  He’s moved all over the country being an Air Force brat, but he remembers years, places, details, etc.  It just amazes me.

I told my friend that she needed to write down our memories as mine are spotty!!  Thank God for friends who can piece together my past!!!  I know I’ll get the full flash of my life at judgement time, but I want to know now, not when I’m answering for them.  LOL

How far back do you remember?  And are these memories in full detail??