May 5, 2016

When we take a vow of “For better or for worse,” do we really mean it?  I know at the excitement of the wedding day and of being together forever, but do we really mean those words, “for better or for worse?”

I know in my marriage we’ve had great times and we’ve also had times where it just about broke our marriage.  We stopped communicating with each other and started communicating with others.  When that happened, we started to think that the other person was really hearing us, instead of our spouse.  All I can say is at one of the breaking points in our marriage, when we were ready to move to opposite ends of the continent, God stepped in and healed our relationship, which healed our marriage.

I’m reminded today in my devotional, that God loves us, for better or for worse.  He loves me through my greatest joys as well as through my darkest of dark.  His love never changes and He never stops loving us!

Now that I’m ill, my husband does many little things for me; helps me get dressed, fixes dinner, helps me in and out of the van, rubs my hands and arms, rubs my shoulders and back, and many more things that I cannot do myself.  When I thank him, he says,”You are my sweetie!  I do these things for my sweetie!”

God loves me.  I am His sweetie and He does these things for His sweetie!!

May 4, 2016

Have you ever had an enemy?  It could have been at school or at work.  It’s funny how they may start out as a friend, then all of a sudden turns.  Like they were gathering intell and once that information was gathered, they would use it against you.

Sometimes, that enemy is me.  The voices in my head sabotage every thought as I’m trying to step forward in my faith.  I know who the real enemy is … it’s the enemy of my soul telling me I’m not smart enough, pretty enough, young enough, healthy enough.  I’m NOT …

Have you ever had an advocate?  I have had several and they do hold a special place in my heart.

Do I believe God is my advocate?  Yes, I do.  I believe Jesus speaks my name to God on the throne in my behalf.  Every time the enemy says to God those thoughts above or tells Him that I’m not worthy to be God’s child, Jesus speaks up and says, “Back off satan, this one is mine and is one that I love!”

How exciting is that?  I know my name is spoken in Heaven and I know Jesus loves me and calls me His beloved.

My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin.  But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father.  He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous.

1 John 2:1 NLT

May 3, 2016

Who is your favorite superhero?  It’s interesting that they have to go through a darkness before they become a superhero.   My favorite is Iron Man.  I like his wit and his brain.  But he went through a darkness and full of pride until he crashed to the bottom.  He had isolated himself.  Until he joined forces, he able to conquer the enemies.  He figured out that working as a team was better than working alone full of pride.

I’m not saying that his pride didn’t show, because it did.  He just knew that he needed to be a part of The Avengers to take down the enemies.

I can relate to isolating.  Sometimes I like to sit in that isolation and loneliness.  However, if I sit there too long, I get to thinking about things.  Things that I’ve conquered in the past.  Things that I assume are true, but really aren’t.  Then my pride starts in and I start to self talk about my hurts of the past and start blaming things or people that may or may not be true.  It’s my perception of truth, not real truth.

We weren’t meant for isolation.  I think it hurts us more, the more we isolate.  Once I fill my brain with that self-doubt, pride, blame, resentment and eventually anger, my whole attitude goes downhill.

Have I conquered my isolation, well, not really as it’s only hubby and I in this apartment.  I don’t venture out much.  I miss fellowship with others, but I’m thankful for technology so that I can still be in touch with those that challenge me and help me be a better self.

When I am alone, I now talk to Jesus.  He saves and He keeps that darkness from taking over my being.  There’s power in the name of Jesus.  This power is inside me.

May 2, 2016

Which would you rather do, buy a new house or an older one?

A new house, well everything would be new, however, the price may be over budget.  An older house, although the price would be reasonable, one would have to consider the cost of renovation and add that to the price for a good comparison of both.  However, an older one should have a mature landscape … which can also create problems; tree roots, old plumbing pipes, basement leakage, etc.

If one is not a handy person, the obvious choice would be to buy new.  But, what if God took that mindset with us?

What if He decided that we, being the one that needs renovating, is too much trouble?  Where would we all be?

I’m thankful that God doesn’t take the easy road with us!  He chooses to work on the existing person.

We don’t have to wait until we are perfect to come to Jesus.  Here’s a news flash, we will NEVER be PERFECT in this world!  God meets us right where we are; in the midst of pain, in the midst of our own destruction, in the midst of the darkness.  God is right there with you, waiting for you to call on Him.  Only Jesus will make you perfect, in God’s timing.  Don’t be surprised if it is when He returns. He is still working on me.  I’ve fallen into the wilderness too many times to count, but, He still picks me up and puts me back on His path.

I’m remembering a cartoon on Facebook.  It was a drawing of Jesus and me (not me, but it might as well be me!)  The first frame says, “When you see only one set of footprints, that’s when I carried you.”  The next frame, still the same picture but it says, “When you see a drag mark, that’s when I dragged you kicking and screaming!”  There have been many times that He’s done just that!  No I’m not proud of it, but thankful that He did.

When we find ourselves in the wilderness, who moved?  Not God, He has a path and plan for our lives.  He stays steady on the course.  We are the ones that drift in the current.

Delayed April 30, 2016

I’ve spent 3 days at Thrive Conference Online.  When we lived in Nevada, I went to this conference a couple of times.  Although it is extremely physically exhausting, it is extremely spiritually energizing.  This year was the first year that this conference was provided by an online stream.  With being in Nebraska, I cannot tell  you how much watching online filled my heart and renewed my spirit as I was completely depleted in my faith and full of doubt.  The darkness took over and I was left with the dark, depression, sadness, all things that are not from God.  If you want information on this conference, held at Bayside Church, click here.  If you are a Pastor or involved in ministry, this 3 day conference is one of the best shot in the arms one can get to renew your spirit and continue with your ministry.  I highly recommend this.  The general sessions have great speakers as well as many breakout sessions to choose from.  If you get your tickets now, there is a huge discount.  Get your tickets early as this conference sells out quickly!!

Lincoln Brewster has a new song out called, Oxygen.  Lincoln Brewster is one of the Senior Pastors at this church.  If you haven’t heard this song, check it out on YouTube.  I found a devotional Lincoln did on Oxygen.  It goes well, with the doubt I was having.  It went along with what one of the speakers spoke on.  One of the things that stood out from this speaker, Miles McPherson, was “Acknowledge your doubt then give it to God!”

The questions that was brought up in Lincoln’s first day of the devotional were all questions I’ve asked myself:

  1. Why am I here, low on finances (again?) I added “again”
  2. Why am I here in the doctor’s office getting  this horrible diagnosis?
  3. Why am I here at this impasse in my relationship with my spouse?
  4. Why am I here plagued by doubts and fears?

Wow … like I said, these are questions I’ve asked myself; how about you?

April 7, 2016

It should NOT be this difficult!!!  My new rheumy is putting  me on a new medication (Cellcept.)  My pharmacy said that it is not approved by my insurance.  Last night I called my insurance and they told me that the pharmacy needed to call and get a one time override so I didn’t have to wait for the meds.  After that, I would have to order my refills through them direct.  So I called the pharmacy back and told them.  They took the info.

This morning I checked my RX status and it still was sitting in the pending as insurance will not cover it.  I called them this morning and told them the above and they were to call me back.  I receive a call back and they told me the insurance company told them that I had to call them for it.  Which I told them that I had last night.

Anyway, I call the insurance again, however, they told me their system was down and they wanted me to call back in an hour.  I called back in an hour, finally got someone and she got the override done and told me to call the pharmacy to rerun it and it should go through.  Called the pharmacy and it went through!  OMG it was like pulling teeth trying to get ALL the information needed so that my RX could be filled.

Now going forward, my rheumy has to send the insurance company my script so when it comes time for refill, I have to get it refilled direct through them.  LOL, so … on to my next adventure!!