Bad Day

This morning is the beginning of a bad day.  Last night my arms hurt so bad and nothing was helping.  Hubby kept rubbing my arms as well as me taking a pain med and muscle relaxer.  Nothing was working, so I asked for prayer, which helped ease the pain to allow me to sleep.

This morning, I started out with a pain med.   Besides my arms, my  stomach and the tops of my legs are aching.  On days like this I want to just lay down and moan.  I know I should just get up and move, but with all these parts aching, I decided to try and blog.  It will be a short blog, but I’m at least getting my fingers moving and taking my brain off the pain.

I haven’t had many bad pain days lately, so this is hitting me pretty hard.

We had friends visit around the 22nd of July.  It was great fun as we visited as well as toured some of the attractions here in our town.  It was sad to see them go, but I was thankful we were able to see them!

This month my sister is flying to KC for a week.  Sometime during that week, she and my other sister are driving up to visit.  Not sure which day that will be, but I’m looking forward to it.

In September, my middle daughter is flying out for a visit.  it will be nice to see her also!!

Well, that’s about all I can update as my brain isn’t getting as distracted as I hoped.  Y’all have a good one!!

Social Media

How do you use your personal social media?  Is it for posting pictures of family & friends?  Spewing your anger?  Venting your opinions?

How would your social media presence change if what you posted was meant to love others versus promoting your pride, positions, and accomplishments?

Interesting question!  I admit, I do have my ranting sessions on this web page.  Sometimes this is my only rant venue, ranting as Dobegil.  However, does this questions make you go … hummmm?

God gave me humor.  It may be a little twisted and quirky but it’s from Him.  So I try to use my humor in most cases.  I’m not 100% spot on, but I am going to try and be more humorous!

So … How would your social media presence change if what you posted was meant to love others versus promoting your pride, positions, and accomplishments?  Leave me a comment with your thoughts.

How do animals blend into the desert?

With Camel-Flage

Bible Study

I’m doing an online bible study.  This one is studying the letters of 1, 2, & 3 John.

The first week, jumps into what is light and darkness.  Light is forgiveness and presence of God.  Darkness is sin and its effects.

One of the questions was:  “In what ways does culture give the impression that sin does not affect us?”  Think about it, with all that is on the tele, movies, real life, I’m sure you know one or two, if not more, people that you know of who are sinning.  Not to mention looking at the person in the mirror.

But what is sin?  Disobeying the 10 Commandments?  Okay, on the surface of the 10 Commandments, one may think, hey, I’ve got that covered, I follow the 10 Commandments, piece of cake.    B U T ….

If you look deeper at these Commandments and realize what could be included in them, it may cause one to go hummmm … maybe the one looking in the mirror isn’t as sinless after all.  Click here for a more in depth list of sins covered under the 10 Commandments.

Am I sinless?  Heavens NO!!  I see myself in this extended list also.  Discouraging, why bother?  Because I want to be in Heaven when I die.  I want to have an eternity with the Light.  Not eternity in the darkness, weeping & gnashing teeth.  Light  sounds much better!!

Unfortunately the culture we live in gives the impression that sin does not affect us.  It does and without an Advocate to speak on one’s behalf, darkness is one’s place of eternity.

Who is this Advocate?  It’s Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  The One who suffered, died and shed His blood to cover the sins of man.  Ask Him into your heart today, don’t wait.  Ask Him to forgive you.  God made us all with a desire to return to Him, that is what we need to do is turn around, ask Him to forgive us and follow by faith and receive His forgiveness & mercy.

I know for me, I was so restless that nothing would satisfy my restlessness.  I could not sit still, it was like I was hooked up to an electrical outlet and my body wouldn’t sit still.  When I realized it was the Holy Spirit reminding me that I was God’s child, I did just that, turned around and asked His forgiveness.  I found a church that fed my soul and my restlessness was satisfied.  Nothing can satisfy that longing and desire … I repeat … NOTHING of this world can satisfy that longing and desire but God and a relationship with Jesus.

What’s new?

Other than my last post being in April?  That’s bad, I was trying to do better at posting but I’ve been lazy.

My Scleroderma continues to be a pain.  About 4 weeks ago, I was put on Methotrexate.  I was scared to death to take the first dose because of all the bad side effects!  Thankfully, my doctor has treated this disease for over 30 years and he knows how to prescribe this drug.  I take 3 pills on Wednesday and 3 pills on Thursday.  The rest of the week, I take Folic Acid to help cut down on the side effects.  So this is my 4th week on this drug.  On the days I take this drug, I can feel weak.  I’ll sit down or lie down until the energy returns.  I also drink, 2 bottles of Boost on the 2 days I take the drug.  I really like the Rich Chocolate.

How is this drug supposed to help with Scleroderma?  Well, from what I understand, it’s supposed to help with the pain and itchiness of my skin.  Is it working?  I’m not sure.  But it’s still too early, it can take a few months before we know.  The bad part is they have to constantly moniter my blood to see what adverse effects my body may have to Methotrexate.  Before I started this drug, I asked the prayer warriors on Facebook to pray to protect me from these side effects.  Prayers do wonderful things!!

I still have issues with my lungs having 65% function, so that will also be something they watch.  I have brain fog dyslexia, no not a real thing, but something I deal with.  My brain gets a little confused and I’ll say or think dyslexic.  Here’s an example:  I went to step around my son’s dog, saw her ear and told myself to NOT step on her ear and I stepped on her ear, causing her to squeal and jump up.  Another example, I’ll think in my brain correctly, but say the opposite.  Or it will take me a while to think of a word or name of something.  Yes, I’m getting older, but it feels like pulling teeth to get my brain and mouth to coordinate.

There are days that I want to just give up.  BUT, that really isn’t an option.  The only way I get through each day is my faith in God and relationship with Jesus.  He is the reason I get through my days with this disease.  He helps me through the struggle, the pain, the frustration and keeps me from giving up and quitting.   The other one that gets me through this, is my husband.  He’s always there for me and does what he can to massage the pain from my arms, back & neck.  The ones that help me forget about the aches and pains are my grandchildren.  Spending time with them helps get my mind off of this body!

This is a disease that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, however, if you find yourself diagnosed with this disease and would like to talk, let me know in the comments.

If you are new to Scleroderma, click here for a site that will give you tips for living with this disease.

Friday, April 3, 2015

This morning I was pleasantly surprised by a text that the kids wanted to come over.  As I got out of bed and dressed, they were already knocking on the door.  They had run over to our place.  LOL … that was too funny.  We talked for a little bit, then watched the recorded Dancing with the Stars while our grandson was playing a game on the computer.  Then they switched, our granddaughter played on the computer and he watched the turtles.  Once grandpa was up, we went to lunch at Raising Cains.  If you have a Raising Cains in your area and they are running an event about used cell phones, well, that’s a pretty good deal.

The deal runs through the end of April.  If you turn in an old used cell phone, and buy one meal & a drink, you get another meal of equal or lesser value free  (but you will need to buy a drink for the free meal.)  We turned in two used cell phones and got two free meals, such a great deal!  Why do they want used cell phones?  I’m so glad you asked.  They recycle them and in turn get calling cards to send to the troops out of the country to call home.  I told you it was a good deal!!

I’ve been reading a book titled, Heaven, by Randy Alcorn.

What is your idea of Heaven?  Boring or exciting?   What is your idea of hell?

In reading the first three chapters of Heaven, I desire to have my final destination to be Heaven.  I would not want to be in hell as “…the wicked suffer terribly, are fully conscious, retain their memories and reasoning, long for relief, cannot be comforted, cannot leave their torment and are bereft of hope. (Luke 16:19-31)…”  “Christ says the unsaved ‘will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth’ (Matthew 8:12)”

There are many times that the Bible describes hell as a place of weeping and gnashing of teeth.  That doesn’t sound like a pleasant way to spend eternity to me.  I’d rather be in Heaven where I am with family, being loved, and most of all, with my Savior.  I can’t think of a better way to spend eternity.

In the dark, all alone, in pain, fully conscious and longing for relief that never comes, weeping and gnashing of teeth … um, no thanks, being in the light and love and peace and no pain in a new body is where I want to be.  Easter weekend – Thank You, Jesus, for suffering and paying a debt that I could not pay and thinking of me when you were suffering and dying on the cross.

He was despised and rejected—
    a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
    He was despised, and we did not care.

Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
    it was our sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
    a punishment for his own sins!
But he was pierced for our rebellion,
    crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
    He was whipped so we could be healed.
All of us, like sheep, have strayed away.
    We have left God’s paths to follow our own.
Yet the Lord laid on him
    the sins of us all.

Isaiah 53:3-6 NLT

Friday, 3/27/2015

I’ve received contradicting correspondence from the Health Insurance Marketplace dated 7 days apart from each other.  One said that our credit had been adjusted.  The recent one tells me that we’ve been denied and have to reapply.   Say what????  After 15 minutes on hold, I spoke with someone that double checked with someone else and was told all was fine and that the new credit is correct and we are still covered by insurance.  I thanked her for jump starting my heart today, but was very thankful that after being on hold, all is fine!!

Yesterday was errand day; post office, bank, grocery store, pharmacy, quick stop at the outdoor mall & filling up the car with gas.  We did everything, except the pharmacy, before the grocery store, I was wiped out half way through the store.  I was walking slow, thankful for the cart, as it was holding me up along with moving me.

Later that night, I started reflecting on my day and also remembering the rheumy’s paperwork that I completed.  It asked on a scale of one to three, how is your difficulty and it had a list of things.  I answered one as the least difficult.  As I was reflecting, I was wondering if I answered that wrong or if I’ve gotten worse within a month. I asked my hubby this question and he said that I do get tired quicker.  There are things that I have difficulty doing and some I let someone else do.  I go back to the rheumy on Friday. 4/10, so it will be interesting to see what the tests show how I am doing?

Thursday, 3/26/2015

Yesterday I made a pot roast in the crock pot.  It was so so easy and very tasty!  I took a 2-3 pound chuck roast, lightly browned both sides, put it in a warm crock pot, emptied a french onion soup packet on top of the roast, poured in a 20 ounce of coca cola all over the roast, added a small bag of small new potatoes (washed, of course,) a bag of baby carrots and one onion cut in 6 sections, put the cover on and let it cook on low for 6-8 hours until meat is tender OR on high for 4-6 hours, again until meat is tender.  For thicker sauce, I mixed water and about a tablespoon of flour until the flour was dissolved and poured it into the pot, stirred and turned it to high so it would thicken a bit and serve.  It was yummy.  If you want less liquid, you can use a 12 oz can of soda.  What we’ll have for dinner tonight … well, I have no idea!  HAH

I have two devotionals that I read in the morning.  They both are on YouVersion and if you want the app, click here.  The first devotional talked about work.  About changing the culture at your work.  It reminded me of Michael Jackson’s song, “Man In The Mirror,” because if you want to make a change, you have to start with yourself.  I’ve come from a bad experience working at a church.  Not all church staff are humble, me included.  So today’s devotion was a good reminder.  It is a good reminder to take 15 minutes before you drive onto your work’s property to settle and reset your mind to change your attitude, even if you are going to be facing one of the most difficult days of your week.  Now that I’m not working, I can apply this everywhere I go: doctors office, grocery store, hospital, etc.  How  many times have you almost been hit with a cart in the store?  As I walk with a cane, it seems like the cane is a beacon for people to aim their carts AND act frustrated at me.  I always say that I hope they do not come down with a debilitating disease that will leave them walking slower and needing some type of assistance.  So, yes, I do need to take those few minutes to reset before I enter the store.  I have to go to the store today … oy!

The verse of the day was Psalm 84:10:

“A single day in Your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else!  I would rather be a gatekeeper in the house of my God than live the good life in the homes of the wicked.”

I asked myself, “Is this true of me?”  What does that really mean to me?  Do I covet the good life of the wicked?  What does a day in Your courts mean?

I do wish I had an unlimited income so I could live in a big house with a cleaning person and take outrageous vacations, traveling the world.  But does that mean I would rather live the good life in the homes of the wicked?

I got to thinking to myself, “Self, what is one day in His court?”

His court is Heaven.  To spend one day in Heaven, with my Father and hearing the never ending voices of the angels worshiping and singing praise; OR Being the gatekeeper in Heaven at the gates and catching a glimpse of all that. is so much better than the best day of a good life with unlimited income.   The thought of how relaxing and stress free that would be to be in His presence and light.   For the commentary, you can click here.

That house and vacations just don’t seem that desirable any more.  I love the promise He has given me, an eternity with Him.