Bad Day

This morning is the beginning of a bad day.  Last night my arms hurt so bad and nothing was helping.  Hubby kept rubbing my arms as well as me taking a pain med and muscle relaxer.  Nothing was working, so I asked for prayer, which helped ease the pain to allow me to sleep.

This morning, I started out with a pain med.   Besides my arms, my  stomach and the tops of my legs are aching.  On days like this I want to just lay down and moan.  I know I should just get up and move, but with all these parts aching, I decided to try and blog.  It will be a short blog, but I’m at least getting my fingers moving and taking my brain off the pain.

I haven’t had many bad pain days lately, so this is hitting me pretty hard.

We had friends visit around the 22nd of July.  It was great fun as we visited as well as toured some of the attractions here in our town.  It was sad to see them go, but I was thankful we were able to see them!

This month my sister is flying to KC for a week.  Sometime during that week, she and my other sister are driving up to visit.  Not sure which day that will be, but I’m looking forward to it.

In September, my middle daughter is flying out for a visit.  it will be nice to see her also!!

Well, that’s about all I can update as my brain isn’t getting as distracted as I hoped.  Y’all have a good one!!

Bible Study

I’m doing an online bible study.  This one is studying the letters of 1, 2, & 3 John.

The first week, jumps into what is light and darkness.  Light is forgiveness and presence of God.  Darkness is sin and its effects.

One of the questions was:  “In what ways does culture give the impression that sin does not affect us?”  Think about it, with all that is on the tele, movies, real life, I’m sure you know one or two, if not more, people that you know of who are sinning.  Not to mention looking at the person in the mirror.

But what is sin?  Disobeying the 10 Commandments?  Okay, on the surface of the 10 Commandments, one may think, hey, I’ve got that covered, I follow the 10 Commandments, piece of cake.    B U T ….

If you look deeper at these Commandments and realize what could be included in them, it may cause one to go hummmm … maybe the one looking in the mirror isn’t as sinless after all.  Click here for a more in depth list of sins covered under the 10 Commandments.

Am I sinless?  Heavens NO!!  I see myself in this extended list also.  Discouraging, why bother?  Because I want to be in Heaven when I die.  I want to have an eternity with the Light.  Not eternity in the darkness, weeping & gnashing teeth.  Light  sounds much better!!

Unfortunately the culture we live in gives the impression that sin does not affect us.  It does and without an Advocate to speak on one’s behalf, darkness is one’s place of eternity.

Who is this Advocate?  It’s Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  The One who suffered, died and shed His blood to cover the sins of man.  Ask Him into your heart today, don’t wait.  Ask Him to forgive you.  God made us all with a desire to return to Him, that is what we need to do is turn around, ask Him to forgive us and follow by faith and receive His forgiveness & mercy.

I know for me, I was so restless that nothing would satisfy my restlessness.  I could not sit still, it was like I was hooked up to an electrical outlet and my body wouldn’t sit still.  When I realized it was the Holy Spirit reminding me that I was God’s child, I did just that, turned around and asked His forgiveness.  I found a church that fed my soul and my restlessness was satisfied.  Nothing can satisfy that longing and desire … I repeat … NOTHING of this world can satisfy that longing and desire but God and a relationship with Jesus.

What’s new?

Other than my last post being in April?  That’s bad, I was trying to do better at posting but I’ve been lazy.

My Scleroderma continues to be a pain.  About 4 weeks ago, I was put on Methotrexate.  I was scared to death to take the first dose because of all the bad side effects!  Thankfully, my doctor has treated this disease for over 30 years and he knows how to prescribe this drug.  I take 3 pills on Wednesday and 3 pills on Thursday.  The rest of the week, I take Folic Acid to help cut down on the side effects.  So this is my 4th week on this drug.  On the days I take this drug, I can feel weak.  I’ll sit down or lie down until the energy returns.  I also drink, 2 bottles of Boost on the 2 days I take the drug.  I really like the Rich Chocolate.

How is this drug supposed to help with Scleroderma?  Well, from what I understand, it’s supposed to help with the pain and itchiness of my skin.  Is it working?  I’m not sure.  But it’s still too early, it can take a few months before we know.  The bad part is they have to constantly moniter my blood to see what adverse effects my body may have to Methotrexate.  Before I started this drug, I asked the prayer warriors on Facebook to pray to protect me from these side effects.  Prayers do wonderful things!!

I still have issues with my lungs having 65% function, so that will also be something they watch.  I have brain fog dyslexia, no not a real thing, but something I deal with.  My brain gets a little confused and I’ll say or think dyslexic.  Here’s an example:  I went to step around my son’s dog, saw her ear and told myself to NOT step on her ear and I stepped on her ear, causing her to squeal and jump up.  Another example, I’ll think in my brain correctly, but say the opposite.  Or it will take me a while to think of a word or name of something.  Yes, I’m getting older, but it feels like pulling teeth to get my brain and mouth to coordinate.

There are days that I want to just give up.  BUT, that really isn’t an option.  The only way I get through each day is my faith in God and relationship with Jesus.  He is the reason I get through my days with this disease.  He helps me through the struggle, the pain, the frustration and keeps me from giving up and quitting.   The other one that gets me through this, is my husband.  He’s always there for me and does what he can to massage the pain from my arms, back & neck.  The ones that help me forget about the aches and pains are my grandchildren.  Spending time with them helps get my mind off of this body!

This is a disease that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, however, if you find yourself diagnosed with this disease and would like to talk, let me know in the comments.

If you are new to Scleroderma, click here for a site that will give you tips for living with this disease.

Friday, 3/27/2015

I’ve received contradicting correspondence from the Health Insurance Marketplace dated 7 days apart from each other.  One said that our credit had been adjusted.  The recent one tells me that we’ve been denied and have to reapply.   Say what????  After 15 minutes on hold, I spoke with someone that double checked with someone else and was told all was fine and that the new credit is correct and we are still covered by insurance.  I thanked her for jump starting my heart today, but was very thankful that after being on hold, all is fine!!

Yesterday was errand day; post office, bank, grocery store, pharmacy, quick stop at the outdoor mall & filling up the car with gas.  We did everything, except the pharmacy, before the grocery store, I was wiped out half way through the store.  I was walking slow, thankful for the cart, as it was holding me up along with moving me.

Later that night, I started reflecting on my day and also remembering the rheumy’s paperwork that I completed.  It asked on a scale of one to three, how is your difficulty and it had a list of things.  I answered one as the least difficult.  As I was reflecting, I was wondering if I answered that wrong or if I’ve gotten worse within a month. I asked my hubby this question and he said that I do get tired quicker.  There are things that I have difficulty doing and some I let someone else do.  I go back to the rheumy on Friday. 4/10, so it will be interesting to see what the tests show how I am doing?

Sorry I’ve been so lax on the postings.  I haven’t had any motivation to write … anything.  But a friend, S4L, reminded me today that I should write again and that if I wait for motivation, I won’t write again.  You know what, she’s right, so here I write … lol

Life in the flat lands has been fine.  It’s starting to warm up and feeling springy.  It wasn’t much of a winter, which I’m thankful for, however, it doesn’t help with the dry conditions.  There have already been several wild fires, which is strange.  When we lived here before, it was so moist out, there were no wild fires.  Weird to come back to a dry Midwest.  It will be interesting to see what the summer will be like, however, I can wait to see that and just enjoy the temps that are now.

On St. Patrick’s day, we picked up our grandkids from school in our green van.  My hubby had a tee shirt with a green plaid vest & bow tie screen printed on it, in addition to wearing a green bow tie.  I had on a green sweatshirt with green shamrock clips in my hair and green beads.  Our grandson made it to the van first and said, “Whoa, that’s a lot of green you’re wearing!”  As our granddaughter was tied up and taking longer, hubby got out of the van to wait for her.  The car behind us saw him and started laughing at the getup.  She finally arrived and tried not to react.  Darn, she’s getting to that age where she tries to not react to the crazy things we do.  I guess we’ll have to try harder!!

My oldest sister has me hooked on National Geographic’s Live Wild Safari, which is online twice a day, morning and night drive.  You can only watch it online through the live feed.  As I won’t ever physically be able to go to So. Africa to go on safari, it is so much fun to watch, when I can and when there is no problem with the feed, the wild animals they come in contact with.

There have been several leopards they follow.  They are such beautiful kitties!  One has quite the personality, while the other that is the same age, just ignores the vehicle & camera.  They walk right next to the vehicle and just look at the guide.  The one with the personality actually charged the vehicle and stopped close, just because he could.  It even looked like he was chuckling after he did it.

Today they went to the hyena den and found the mom and three cubs.  It was late afternoon there and starting to get dark.  The mom was getting ready to hunt, leaving the cubs at the den.  The guide said they were going to leave the cubs as they didn’t want to call any predators attention to the cubs while mom was gone.  They were so cute.  Before mom left, one of the babies walked right up to the vehicle and looked at the camera.

One never knows what will happen on each drive.  If interested, the live feed is from 10am – 1pm Eastern time and 12am – 3am Eastern time, everyday.    It is quite fun as you can interact with the driver/guide through twitter or email.  Click here if you’d like to check it out.  During off hours, they run a loop of what is seen on that day’s drive.

Watching these animals and how they survive as part of the food chain, I’m reminded of a passage I read this morning:  Matthew 6:25-34 – Do not worry.

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

We humans are much more valuable to God than any bird or animal.  If we truly follow Christ and have Jesus in our hearts, there is no reason to worry about anything as He provides.  The question is, can you surrender and wait in faith for His provision?

Sunny Sunday

It is nice to have a sunny day outside.  I was out in it yesterday as our granddaughter had a volleyball tournament.  She’s becoming a good player and along with a good player comes the struggle of being hard on herself.  Her dad is really good at talking things through with her.  It helps that he talks and not yells.  I was thinking how proud I am of the man and father he’s become.  I couldn’t ask for anything more!!

Our fridge went out (the bottom part not the freezer).  My brain registered on Monday that the fridge didn’t seem to be cold, but I was cold and figured it was me.  It wasn’t until hubby asked me on Wednesday night if I thought the fridge was cold, did I remember my thought on Monday.  We called our landlord on Thursday and someone was out on Friday fixing it.  Unfortunately we lost all that was in the fridge.  Yesterday, we went out to replace most of the spoiled items.  It’s frustrating but that’s the way it goes.  I’m thankful that it got fixed and we were financially able to replace those items.  If we were thinking, on Monday, we could have moved everything to a cooler and put in the garage as it was quite cold out there!!

I must admit, I’m ready for spring.  I saw how bad Northern Nevada got hit with 130-150 miles per hour winds.  It tore up trees, roof tiles, etc.  I feel bad for the cleanup that is going on, however, it looks like they are ok.

My arms have been screaming lately.   I only have 1 pain med left and I’m saving it until it’s completely unbearable.  I go to my new rheumy on the 21st (I think that’s the date).  I can’t wait!  It will be interesting to see what she tells me as my other rheumy had only seen about 5 cases, while this new one has more.  Hoping that she’s more informed on this disease.

Our van is doing good, even though we haven’t driven it much.  With the snow this past week, we tend to stay home until the streets dry up.  The weather is supposed to be good this week so hopefully the snow will be gone.

That’s all we’ve been up to.  Hope you have a great Sunday!!!

Happy New Year, 19 Days Late

Wow, was November really my last post?  Well, the old house got packed, the truck got loaded, thanks to many amazing friends and we drove half way across the country thanks to our son!!  Also Thanks to our oldest daughter for letting us crash at her house along the way!

We found ourselves in Nebraska, Homeless, Car-less and Jobless.  It’s a weird feeling when everything you own is in a 10 x 15 storage unit!  Well with overflow in our son’s garage and basement.  We lived in his basement for a month, which was nice as we were able to spend Christmas and New Years with them, get to know the baby or have her get to know us.  LOL

On December 31st we signed a lease for a 2 bdrm, 1 bath duplex (we’re on the main level and have neighbors upstairs.)  However, we didn’t move our stuff in until the 2nd, again thanks to our son and his friends!!

We’ve actually only lived here since the 7th as we’ve been sick for a month and no energy to do this.  We learned from our new doctor here that the first month in a new area, your body has no immunity.  Well, it’s a double whammy as I don’t have an immunity system at all.  We’ve managed to catch this every lingering upper respiratory mess.  One or two days you start feeling better and then it’s back to feeling crappy for another one or two days.  And that’s on antibiotics.  I’m hoping we’ll be done with this soon!!  I’d say we both are about 75% better and just started the second round of antibiotics … yeehaw!  I’ll be so very happy when this coughing stops along with the blowing of my nose!!

We still are car-less, so we borrow our son’s vehicle when we need to go out.  Wow, that’s come full circle … having to ask to borrow the car!

It has been very cold, however, this week it’s been real nice.  I’m able to go out in a sweatshirt and sweatpants.  I still wear my warm fuzzy boots, keep my feeties warm!

All in all, we are doing good.  Trying to get into a routine, but not compromise the body’s immune system.  Such a fine line I have to walk.  I need to listen to my body more and not want to go and see the grandbabies in their activities.  This Sunday was a good example of that, I had insomnia Saturday night and my body was telling me to stay home and not go out.  So I missed the band concert and the b-ball game.  My son did take me to the pharmacy to get the next round of the drugs.  So instead we stayed home and are tying to put the front room together.  It’s coming along, I still have a few things to do, but it may have to wait until tomorrow, we’ll see.

Hope you all are having a great Monday!!  I’m going to see what I can or cannot do … lol … dang body!!!