March 15, 2016

I’ve been a little sad these past couple of days. Hubby and I had a fight on Sunday.  I wanted to go to church without him.  I can still drive, but for some reason he doesn’t think I’m able.  The reason I wanted to go by myself, well, he can be kind of a jerk when we go to a new church.  I didn’t want to put up with his attitude and I really wanted some time alone without having to worry about what he’s thinking, doing, or whatever.

I had told him the night before that I was going to try and go to church on Sunday.  He asked where, and I told him, and that was the end of it.  On Sunday as I’m getting dressed, he jumps out of bed and gets all mad that I didn’t say anything about going.  I told him that I was going to drive and he jumped all over that and said, “No, I’m not going to let you kill yourself!”  Really??!!  Where in the heck did that come from??  I have NO plans for that, but it really bothered me that he would say such a thing.  Then he says, “What do I tell our son, if something happens?”  Again, Really??!!  *Sigh*  Needless to say, we went to church.  I hate walking on eggshells as I’ve done that most of our married life!

No, I’ve not brought it up again for fear of what may come out of my mouth.  I’m hurt and sad that he would think such things.  All I wanted to do was worship God and be in His presence in His house.

Today on Facebook, this was in my feed, “Whenever you feel unloved, unimportant or insecure, remember to whom you belong.”  Ephesians 2:9

It’s so comforting that He lets me know that He sees and knows what I’m going through.  I can’t get through my life with my disease without Him.  I just wish my hubby could understand that.

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