Again … tired tired tired

I think it started a week ago.  I’m tired.  I’m not sure if I got over it and am again, or if this is a continuation of last week. 

I was in my jammies all day, just surfing the web…okay… playing Bejeweled Blitz.  I love/hate that game!!  I had finished my Bible Study homework yesterday and should have been working on my Counseling homework, but that wasn’t happening.  My brain wasn’t feeling up to looking inside.  Don’t you hate it when you don’t want to take a good look in the mirror?  Yeah, that’s why I’ve procrastinated.  I have to work on it tomorrow.  I’m hoping for a revelation … lol … yeah, okay, so I’m hoping to have a way to word my answers to the essay questions.  Did I mention, I’m tired?!?

As I was sitting here in my jammies, I kept going back and forth as to whether or not I was going to bible study class tonight.  As it got closer to 5:30 pm, I finally got up out of this chair, took a shower and drove to church. 

It amazes me how the dark forces wanted to keep me away tonight.  If I hadn’t  gone, I would have missed out on learning something that I have had questions about, ever since my son was sitting in Kuwait waiting for the invade order.  All I can say is WOW … powerful stuff in the video teaching tonight.  Isaac and Ishmael … glad I went and learned.  My mind is still amazed and even a little sad.   So much animosity within the family. 

I dislike when our family has disagreements.  When I was younger, we had them all the time.  Siblings fight, disagree, don’t speak to each other, etc.  As bad as we’ve been through, it hasn’t torn us apart.  Not saying that there weren’t chilly moments, but those moments soon passed and we were a loving family again.   

Siblings that have a disagreement/fight and never ever speak to each other again, that is just down right crazy!  You are family, good grief!!   Hubby has a brother that he doesn’t want to talk to ever again.  I can understand the circumstances, but still, he’s his brother.  I guess that’s just something he’ll need to resolve in his own heart.  I cannot do anything about it, but pray.

In the announcements tonight, they had someone speak about a ministry that was created for abused women.  Abuse, being, physical, mental, sexual, … when she said sexual, bells were going off in my brain.  I’ve been there when I was quite small.    I’m able to talk about my abuse as it was many many years ago.  Then I got to thinking, what if I went through what I did, so that I could share my experience with others and help with what they are going through.   If I hadn’t gone, I would have missed out on this announcement.  I kept thinking how the dark forces were trying to keep me away. 

Again, changes are coming … lol … I guess I had better hang on to my hat and glasses, because it feels like it is going to be  full speed ahead!


4 thoughts on “Again … tired tired tired

  1. It sounds like you are really getting a lot from this group! I think going to such a supportive environment where you are with people who share your values and desire to make a positive impact is wonderful!

    You have been making such an effort to grow as a person, using your faith as a tool to help you get to where you want to be. Even change you want to see happen is never easy, and perhaps that part of you was feeling it earlier in the day. Still as long as you get a sense of emotional nourishment from the group I say “Hurrah!”

  2. GH – Thanks … question is, do I have the courage?!?!

    MM – Thanks, it’s hard to engage with my bible study group. I get so involved in my own head that I forget there is a table of women in a discussion about their lives. Or it could be that I’m too busy eating … LOL … yeah, that’s it …. I can’t eat and enjoy the food and talk at the same time!

    S. – So True but don’t feel guilty on my part. There is NO judgment from me!

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