Male or Female?
That’s an interesting question. I have had female friendships that didn’t work out because I was betrayed or felt I was betrayed. So I am usually very cautious, until I get to know that person. I’m not so cautious with my female blog friends, because, well, you ALL know what my thoughts are as they are here in black and white. But in person, I don’t let many females in.
I find I get along with males, in person, better … probably because I can say what I mean and they don’t take it personally. I can’t do that with women without hurting feelings or coming across as a b**tch. Now that isn’t to say that I don’t come across that way to the guys, because … yeah, I do.
The cool thing about my guy friends are they get when I’m grumpy and they leave me alone. Women want to know what’s going on … is there something they can do … let’s talk about it … well, you get the picture.
This morning I went to a womens group meeting at church. Fun name of the meeting, “Chick Chat.” Listening to them and talking with the ladies around my table made me realize I have been missing out on female relationships. What I used to think as intrusive and nosey is really caring and concern … that is … when you are with the right group of women AND when you feel safe in talking. What do I mean by safe? That whatever is said isn’t going to be blabbed all over the community or in this case church. AND you are not judged by what you say.
But today helped me realize that women need to fellowship with women. We all have alot in common, but we also are unique and can complement each other with our uniqueness.
The other thing that hit me over the head is that we (women) may be strong on the outside, but on the inside there is a mini-me inside thinking we aren’t good enough or smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough, nice enough, educated enough, etc. to join in a conversation/relationship/friendship, whatever.
I guess what I’m saying is that being around other women is such an outside of my comfort zone thing. I don’t do well being among strangers and then having to participate, well, that just pushes me farther. I’m really glad I went! I needed to reconnect and this was a great place to start.
It got me thinking about Day Four’s challenge. The explanation of the day is here. Being Thoughtful and the difference of men and women. I read through this and I saw hubby and my relationship. How many of you see your relationship in there also?
Contact your spouse* sometime during
the business of the day. Have no agenda
other than asking how he or she
is doing and if there is anything
you could do for them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me. . . .
How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them,
they would outnumber the sand. —Psalm 139:17–18
* significant other or someone you want to have a better relationship with (family member, friend, acquaintance).
Why is my relationship with hubby so different from my relationships with my guy friends? I am the woman in the Day Four challenge. I want him to ask what’s wrong and handle the truth. I want him to say let’s talk about it. I want him to just give me a hug. I expect my spouse to completely understand what I’m going through, saying or hinting at and I do get ticked off when he has no clue!
He is the one standing there wondering what the heck he did because he’s getting the cold shoulder.
I think at one point last year I had told my hubby that we suck at communication. He looked at me like I was crazy, because he thinks we communicate with each other. But in reality … we don’t. He is my best friend, but there are times my mini-me rears her head.
So reading today’s challenge AND going to the women’s group was comforting, because I found that I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t growing another head and I wasn’t going crazy!