I’ve just read a couple of articles in the Las Vegas paper. It was very disturbing as it angered me as well as saddened me.
In a matter of minutes, three families lives have been affected. The worst being that one of the families has lost someone they loved.
So, in reading both of these articles, one has to wonder:
- Why do people continue to drive even after a few beers?
- Was the officer really in full code while traveling to the call?
- Who is really responsible for the death of the officer?
- What are the rage issues for the 14 year old?
- Why are there rage issues for a 14 year old?
- WTF does “But we’re going to stop there.” mean?
I was listening to a workshop the other night and the speaker made a very valid point. Who is responsible for creating the “All about me” attitude? We all are guilty of creating the “all about me” attitude in our children and grandchildren. We try to make them feel special. We try to be supportive. We want to give them what it is they want. We say yes to whatever it is they are asking for. We crumble at the sight of the puppy dog eyes they look at us with, so we’ll give in.
Do you see a pattern? We give, they take. We give, they take. We give, they take. What happens over the years while we continue to give and they take. The child ends up with the misconception of “It’s all about me.”
Where’s the balance? Where’s the teaching of consequences? Where’s the teaching?
Example, what goes through your mind when you see a child acting up in a store … I mean, full blown acting up, screaming at the top of their lungs, that they want this or that. Only to have the screaming and tantrum getting louder and more hysterical because the parent said no. The parent continues to say no or stop it and then to appease the child gives them a candy bar. What kind of message is this child getting?
To me, if I were that child, I’d be thinking, “Cool, if I can get a candy bar out of this tantrum, what else can I get if I throw another one and flail around?”
What do you see the parent doing to control their screaming child? Or, do you see the parent ignoring that child as they continue to scream, thrash, yell, or cry?
Now I know there are many schools of thoughts on this. The ignoring one – if you ignore them, they’ll stop. The yelling at them in the store one. The swat on the butt one. The baby talk telling them to stop or no. Do any of them work?
If you are shopping and/or eating in a restaurant, how does a trantrum throwing child affect your experience?
I have a better one, what goes through your mind when you get on a plane and you see a family with little kids?
When our oldest daughter was around 12 years old, she and I went to the grocery store. While in the produce section, there was a child acting up and throwing a fit. She looked at me and said, “You and dad would not have put up with that from any of us.” I looked at her and smiled because she was right. That behavior was not tolerated by either of us.
Of course, while still in the produce section, our oldest provided the comic relief needed, by standing up and hitting the bottom of the scale, which made the clanging sound from the base.
My fear for our children/grandchildren is that if we can’t get control of our kids when they are in the toddler stage, what happens when they reach school age? What happens when they reach the teenage years?
I’ve seen so many parents ignore or let things go and let things go, but then, when they reach the teenage years, try to reel them in. Sorry folks, but at that age, they are too far gone to try and start reeling them in. We need to be parents. We need to set boundaries. AND WE NEED TO BE CONSISTENT.
It’s very disturbing to me as to how many children are diagnosed with A.D.D. or A.D.H.D. Is this a cop out? Has A.D.D. or A.D.H.D. become the scapegoat for ill behaved children? Studies have shown that children who eat sugar have a major behavioral problem.
What does sugar do to you as an adult? You get that burst of energy to get through what you need to get through, but when it’s burned up, what happens? Some people crash and get irritable and tired. If this happens to adults, how much worse is it for the children? Their bodies are so much smaller to be jacked up on sugar, then crash, only to have this cycle continue throughout the day. Could that create a behavioral problem?
I’ve seen the difference. We have five grandchildren and 3 different parenting styles. I’ve seen what’s working. I’ve seen the difference in eating habits, again, I’ve seen what’s working.
I’ve read about 12 year olds getting pregnant. Does it not break your heart that these are still children getting ready to have a child? There is such a need for direction in children of our society. Maybe we all could start by helping, one child at a time.