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Sibling Rivalry

bratsjourney | April 15, 2007 11:30

Sibling Rivalry has been around a very long time.  Who were the first siblings to rival?  No, not me and my sister, but Cain and Abel.  Wow, that does go a long way back.Unfortunately, that rivalry ended in a very tragic way.   The rivalry I had with my sisters were pretty much the same, but I am still on this earth.  I know there have been times they would have liked to end my life, then I wouldn’t be here to talk about them.  Hmm, this could be a good thing or a bad thing …

Anyway, I was the baby of 5 kids.  I know, the typical baby of the family, got everything she wanted, did everything she wanted, had mom and dad wrapped around her little finger.  Well, not so much the last part, mom and dad were pretty much their own persons, not sure any of us could have them wrapped around our fingers. 

I did get my share a beatings, the usual form of discipline in my youth, but what my siblings don’t realize is they broke mom & dad in.  By the time I came along, they were so tired of chasing 4 kids, I kinda sailed on through growing up.  Mind you, mom was 35 and dad was 55 when I was born.  Yup, they were plain worn out by the time I arrived and interrupted the family.

Now that I have children of my own (no, not 5, but 3), they have been through their own sibling rivalry.  One always thinks the other gets more or has more or  gets away with more.   If they only knew at Christmas their dad and I would count the amount of gifts each one had, to make sure they were even.  If one had more, off to the store we went to even it up.  

They may even think one is loved more than the other.  However, those of us that are parents know, it is truly impossible to love one of your kids more than the other.   We may have had to parent them differently, because all three of them are different individuals.  Something may have worked for one and not for the other, but in their minds they see it as a favoritism. 

Now that my children are adults and have children of their own, we all have a different relationship.  One may have a better relationship than the other, however, all are loved the same. 

The key word is relationship.  In order for a relationship to change and grow, the parties involved in that relationship have to share their life with the other.  Share their thoughts and feelings.  In doing this, there is also a risk involved, you would be opening your heart to another person, becoming vulnerable to what the other might say. 

It is easy to go through life with resentment festering the angry boil.  But the longer one has resentment and anger, the harder their heart becomes.  The harder the heart becomes, the further you walk off God’s path. 

I didn’t realize how hardened my heart had become until I learned that you have to open your heart and become vulnerable in order to receive God’s Grace.  Yes, it hurts; yes, it’s hard; and yes, it is the most wonderful experience I have had in my life.  Although, I must warn you all, I now cry at a drop of a hat.  I no longer tough it out, you will see me cry.  And I’m proud of it!

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