It’s no secret that this time of year is depressing for me. I get sad and start questioning me. I just finished watching a movie that made me sob. It reminded me how family is everything, even in the middle of the craziness that is family. It made me question where I went. What happened to the me that I was; adventurous, daring, courageous, fun, happy go lucky, independent, etc. Somewhere in my adulthood, I lost that person. It made me question my childhood; why I get this way during the holidays, why I remember things different from my siblings, is what I remember a lie or my version of the truth.
I look at my husband and wonder where we went. The couple we were when we first got together. We’d be adventurous and explore. Now we act like old people and don’t do anything. The thing is, we aren’t old. Our bodies may have limits, but we lack the sense of adventure that we used to have. Where did we lose that couple?
How do we get that couple back? Do we want that couple back? Do we want to be a couple? Yeah, things that go through my head. Probably not a good thing to watch movies that question these things. However, isn’t it good to question these things?
I guess if one watches things that present questions to oneself, that self should look at those questions and think them through. I know, it sounds a lot like work and I’m not keen on looking within myself to find the answers to these questions. Probably why I remain stuck where I am.
Happy Holidays – Bah Humbug!!!