Live like you were dying

That’s the name of the teaching series at church.  We’ve missed the first two, however, we did make it to church today and what was the topic?  Forgiveness … our pastor having been on the dying end of pastoral care, the last thing a person wants and hopes for is to forgive and be forgiven. 

In our teaching notes was this statement:  Forgiveness is relinquishing my right to hurt you for hurting me.   

Also in our notes was:  “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”  Hebrews 12:15

Now I just have to remember to do that, relinquish it to Him.  Not let it fester or cause resentment and bitterness in my heart like a bad root that kills.

Our pastor asked who in our lives do we have to forgive for the hurts they’ve caused.  The first one that came to my mind was the person that sexually abused me when I was a little girl.  The other one was my dad for the times I had been beaten.  The first one, I had forgiven awhile ago and I didn’t have any hurt inside anymore.  The second, took me by surprise.  My dad came into my mind and the tears started to fill my eyes.  Good thing they were closed so the water  couldn’t escape.

Who has hurt you deeply that you need to forgive?  Try it, it will lighten the load.

Mercy Me Cover song – “Thriller”

I just saw this video.   I laughed so hard – it’s nice to know Christian Artists can still be goofy.   Musicians are musicians, no matter what the genre, they just have that off the wall humor, which makes me like them even more.  This is Mercy Me.

What do you revert to?

The class we are taking at church is focused on the leadership development skill of working with people.   This class was originally designed for Biblical Counselor Training.  As a matter of fact, that is the name of the class, however, the teacher/pastor redesigned the class to also include small group leaders or anyone wanting to gain knowledge and skills when working with people.

There are about 15 people in the class.  Not all of us are in this class to become a counselor.  However, I feel all of us, hubby included, are in this class to learn the skills to deal with conflict and resolve it, foregiveness, power of observation, and how to create safe environments when something is outside your area of expertise.

There was so much info in the first class and he only touched the surface.  Most of the class talked about becoming self aware.  When you go in for a meeting, how do you feel?  Do you have a headache?  Do you not feel well?  Did you just have an argument or an intense conversation?   All of these things will affect the way you listen, respond, react as well as what your body language says.   Basically check yourself at the door before you go into a meeting.  I have heard this saying before, but I thought it was to check your appearance.  lol

I’d  go into a meeting and have a killer headache or body ache.  I was in too big of a hurry to take something for my headache and all I could think of was, when is this dang meeting going to be over!  Or, my head is killing me!  I didn’t catch everything that was said.  I was fidgety and although I didn’t mean to, I was distracting those around me and the one speaking. 

The real self-aware thing that hit me was a classroom setting.  I don’t know if I just figured this out, or if I just verbalized it and knew it all along.  But I was talking to our inside salesman, telling him about this class.  I told him that when I’m in a classroom setting, I revert to a scared quiet little girl I was in grade school.  This really surprised him, since I’m quite vocal at work and express my opinion quite often.  LOL … can you believe that?

But after I said that to him, I really started thinking.  In all my adult classes, I do revert to that scared little elementary school girl (afraid of what people will think if I gave the wrong answer.  Afraid people will disagree with me if I gave my opinion.  So I kept quiet, didn’t give eye contact, scrunched down in my chair and pretended I was invisible.)  By my junior high and senior high school years, I was more outgoing, however, in the classroom, I didn’t really participate, unless I had to.

So this class is really going to be a challenge for me.  It will be a growing experience at 50 yrs old.  I have to participate.  I have to join in the role playing.  I have to express my feelings, thoughts, ideas, and not worry about what others think.   This will definately be an interesting eight weeks.

No words

There’s alot of things fluttering through my brain tonight.  I can’t seem to get a handle on any of the thoughts, they zoom by too fast to land.  Of course it doesn’t help that my eczema has flared up so bad, it is taking everything I have to concentrate on typing, instead of scratching my skin off my hands and face. 

I have blog friends that are hurting.  Blog friends that are finding their strength.  Blog friends that are rejoicing.   Blog friends that are suffering.   Sometimes I wish hubby had his pilot’s license, so we could fly places and meet all of my friends in the blog world.

I’ve posted the video to this song before, but here are the words.  For all my friends out there.

Prayer for a Friend by Casting Crowns
Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.
Complicated circumstances
have clouded his view.
Lord I lift my friend up to You. 

I fear that I won’t have the words
that he needs to hear.
I pray for Your wisdom , oh God.
And a heart that's sincere.
And Lord I lift my friend up
to You. 

Lord I lift my friend to You.
My best friend in the
world, I know he means much
more to You.
I want so much to help him, but
this is something he has to do.
Lord I lift my friend up to You. 

There's a way that seems so right to him.
But You know where that leads.
He's becoming a puppet of the world.
Too blind to see the strings.
And Lord I lift my friend up to You. 

Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.

I was hoping words of wisdom would flow through my fingers to this post, but nothings happening.  I guess I’ll close and wish you all a safe and good evening.  It’s hump day and tomorrow starts the down slide to the weekend.  Yippee!!

Ya’ll have a good night.

I still have everything …

After my post yesterday, this is was in my email this morning.  Booga?  No, just another confirmation that He is here with me, you, all of us.  What a great story about Dan.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.
- 1 Corinthians 4:7-10

God is with you. Isn’t that just typical of what a pastor would say? I figured you might be thinking that. God is with you, brother. And you too, sister. But what does that really mean? How does that really work?

 

Meet Dan. He’s a faithful follower of Jesus in our church. Until a few months ago, Dan was a senior partner at one of the world’s largest global investment banks. Dan worked there for 25 years and was very successful. The company was solid, blue chip year after year, with multiple billions in capital. Dan didn’t have a whole lot to worry about until this year…

Did you ever see the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life? Remember when everyone ran to the bank to withdraw their savings because they heard that the bank was running out of money? Everyone rushed to the tellers, shouting and demanding their cash. The whole bank would collapse since everybody wanted all of their money the same day.

That’s what happened to his company in 2008. Over the course of the year, and then finally over a couple of days, their stock value plummeted, people “ran the bank,” and the company collapsed. One day Dan and his colleagues were solid and stable, and a couple dizzying days later, they were bankrupt. All completely out of their control. Dan lost everything.

That’s so sad, you might think. How’s it going for Dan? The surprising answer is great. He’s full of joy and praising the Lord. Unbelievable! I’ve been on the phone with him several times in the last two months. He’s filled the presence of the Lord. He says, “James, my heart goes out to the people around me. They’re collapsing at their desks in tears. They’ve lost everything.” He said, “But I still have everything. I have the Lord! The Lord is on my side. The Lord is my Helper. I will not fear what man can do to me” (Psalm 118:6). Dan is going around his dying company, sharing the Lord with people in their darkest, most desperate hour.

Now how can you explain that? I’m telling you: The Lord is with him and that story isn’t finished yet. Dan is finding, as you can, that you can put your whole weight down on God’s great and precious promise that He will always be with you and it will sustain you.

From “The Weekly Walk” by James MacDonald

 

What do you struggle with?

I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I’m compelled to write this to the world.  Maybe it’s a confession and maybe it’s a healing, but what are your struggles?  What do you push aside and hope they’ll go away? 

Hubby retired last year because if he didn’t retire, he’d lose the insurance supplement, because the state was changing it’s rules.  With his health problems, he had to have insurance in his later years.  Calculating it out, without the insurance supplement, his retirement check would be less than it is now, if he retired at the normal age.  The state/county/cities have lost many experienced workers over this new law. 

He works a part-time job that was 2+ days a week, and now with all the budget crunches, it has been reduced to 1 day a week and may be removed completely … we just don’t know yet. 

So my struggle is with money.  They have always been with money.  The one thing I cannot let go of and surrender to God.   Not that I am successful at surrending all things to Him, but this is the one thing that I hold on to.  So of course, it is my burden to bare.

The other day, I was nudged out of bed at 4am … by nudged, I mean, hearing the songs in my head and a nudge to get up.  I didn’t want to, it was 4 in the stinking morning and I was all warm.  But, no … the music just got louder and the nudging stronger.  Finally I flipped the covers back, climb out of bed, put my sweats on and walk into the front room.  Not a stranger to these kinds of wakings, I knew who it was and what I was supposed to do.  I said, “If I’m to look at the bills I’ve been ignoring, I need You to help me.”  Just a simple line as if I was talking to someone in the room.  Not on my knees type of prayer or anything, just a conversation. 

I gathered the bills, mind you these are passed due, really needing attention, went to the kitchen table and started writing them down.  As I was writing them down, I was cringing, because I knew they would come to more than his retirement check and my paycheck could cover.  The list was there and I wrote down what was coming in, looked at the paper and laughed.  I then said, “It’s up to You now, I cannot do this without You.”

I got up, walked on the treadmill for awhile, came back and looked at the numbers and a sense of calm came over me.  I had the courage and strength to do what had to be done, make the calls, etc.    When it was my normal time for breakfast, the calls I needed to make were done, the amounts were adjusted and I reworked the numbers and I have money left over for some of our meds and a few groceries.  

I haven’t been to church lately, but He’s always on my mind.  I sing praises to Him in the car, listening to KLOVE or one of my CD’s.  I haven’t really prayed lately, but I talk to Him.  He is faithful, no matter what.  I just have to remember that and continue to ask Him for help in the areas I struggle.

Brown Rice

I love brown rice.  What I don’t like about it, is the time it takes to make it.  I either overcook it or it’s crunchy.  When our office manager goes to take care of her sister & family during her Chemo treatment, she shops at Trader Joes.  It’s around the corner from her sis’s house and her sis feeds her family organic or as close to organic as she can.  One of the things she buys is the Organic Brown Rice – already cooked.  All you have to do is either microwave it or put it in a pot of boiling water. 

Since being told this, I have been wanting to try it … last time we stopped at TJ’s we picked up a box.  One of the things hubby made for dinner was this brown rice … all I can say is I’m hooked … perfect brown rice … yum!!  The bad thing is this rice is one of their biggest sellers and rarely found in the store … that is until TJ’s buys more land to do more rice. 

I didn’t know this about TJ’s, but I was told they can assure their products are natural/organic because they own the farms/pastures/whatever is needed to produce their store brand items.  That is pretty cool. 

Well, guess I had better finish my dusting I started last night.  Hope you all have a very interesting Saturday.

Layers and Layers

As you can see from yesterday’s pictures, we are having quite an inversion going on.  The last couple of days, the valley has been socked in with clouds, rain/slush.  However, the lake has been rainy, cloudy but with visibility.  Driving home tonight the weather changed from rain, to snow, to a mix with fog, to dense fog, rain with visibility, and turning onto Hwy 395 it turned to Fog/Clouds/Rain.   Amazing these Sierras, one never knows what your gonna get and even they can’t make up their minds.

I’m so glad it’s Friday.  As I mentioned yesterday, work has died down quite a bit.  Today, however, it was a tad busier, but nowhere near as busy as we should be.  We lost a work crew yesterday.  We have two men crews and one of them quit and since the helper can’t be on his own, we had to lay him off.  With as slow as we are, working with 2 crews will keep the guys busy, but still put us behind, since we are missing a crew. 

Well, I had better go, hubby is cooking dinner and it sure smells good!

Ya’ll have  a great Friday night and a great weekend!

Pictures

The weather has been cloudy and rainy.  Driving home, I had to pull over to take pics of the clouds covering the valley as I was driving off the mountain on Hwy 50. 

I forgot about this cloud … I took it a few weeks ago, as it hung over my neighborhood.  What do you see when you look at this cloud?

Name this cloud …

Last but not least, here’s a pic of the swearing in ceremony … I know, I was far away, but you get the point.

Anyway, so much for my day … it was dead at work, which made for very long hours. 

Tomorrow is Friday … yippee!!  Dog and I have been walking 60 minutes on the treadmill.  He keeps giving me dirty looks while he’s panting … can’t figure out why … LOL … ya’ll have a great evening.

And this says it all …

I just read this POST that I thought was well written and speaks how I feel.   Thanks, Lori, for putting into words what my brain was thinking.