I keep missing the sandman!

I went to bed early, because I haven’t really slept for the last few days and I am really tired.  I’ve even taken my cough syrup and muscle relaxer to help … however … here I am still awake.  Body feels like mush, but the brain is still going a mile a minute. 

Why the restlessness?  I am excited for our trip to Nebraska, however, I am dreading the flight.  Not the actual flight in the air, but the encounter with the airport nazis.  Hubby doesn’t think too kindly of them and truthfully, I’m a bit nervous at what he may say or do that would make me crazy!  I know, I know, quit fussin’ about it, it will all be fine. 

Now you know the reason why we drive everywhere.   However, the 22 plus hours in a car to Nebraska would be too much for our bodies to handle.  Driving to Vegas or Salt Lake is far enough. 

One more day of work, then we can finalize the laundry, packing, etc.  I can’t wait until tomorrow is over so I can concentrate on our trip. 

I got to thinking  …  and we all know how dangerous that is … but, I got to thinking about what my hubby has to put up with in me.  LOL, for the mixed audiences out there, you may want to close an eye.  But tonight as I was trying to relax in bed, I was listening to our portable CD player with the headphones on.  Since the music was moving, I was using my arms to dance to the music.  When I opened my eyes, there’s hubby giving me one of his “what the heck are you doing” looks.  He’s sort of used to my waving arms, however, the night shirt I had on is missing several buttons and a breast had fallen out.  Yup, that must have been a sight, me on my back with the eyes closed, arms waving in the air and a breast for an audience.  *sigh*  Welcome to my life. 

Answers

As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been perplexed and there is an anxiety going on about what it is I should be doing.  My spirit has been restless.  In my head, I was again, trying to negotiate my tithe with God.  Saturday we went to church and the new series “Live the Life of Giving”.  It is a 6 week series, which we will miss the next 2 while we are in Nebraska.  However, the first one, was about tithe.  Before the final prayer, we were asked to reflect on why we were there.  I started grinning, because I knew why … it was Him once again, telling me to listen to Him and it will be fine.

One of the ministries I’ve been involved with had ended as of February.  As I’ve mentioned in the last post, I have all these ideas about reaching out to those in need, but I don’t have the experience, skill, money, etc.  I received an email yesterday from our outreach pastor wanting to set up a time to meet about the next step and outreach.  I didn’t read his email until today.  Again, He is letting me know that I need to trust Him and through Him I can do these thing.  

It is interesting how He works through others.  We just have to be open to who He sends into our lives.  He is so true, so faithful and so loving. 

For those of you that feel confused, don’t know where you are supposed to go or looking at the fork in the road, all I can say is ask Him to show the way.  Have the courage to listen to what He says to your heart.  Listen to what people say to you.  Who knows, one of those people could have your answer.

Off Night

I am having one of those off nights.  Not depressed, not the blues, maybe a little perplexed, maybe a little anxiety.  Over what you may ask?  That dang four letter word … L I F E …

I have all these ideas about what I want to do besides my normal job.  There are so many ideas and when I jazz myself up for them, my courage goes running and I’m left with … what the heck was that thought or thoughts?  

I read some of my friends blogs and they talk about how God is leading them to good things.  And I believe that, however, sometimes, when me, myself and I get these ideas, I wonder if it is part of His great plan for me or is it me charging ahead by myself into oblivion.   

When I get this way, I hear part of this song:  “… Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord” , but how will I know when He says now is the time?  Then I hear the lyrics to the Casting Crown’s song, “Voice of Truth”:

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He’s holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win!”

Chorus:
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
The voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. “Boy you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win!”

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don’t seem so high
From on top of them lookin’ down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

It bothers me that the enemy can still get to me, no matter how hard I resist him.   He’s such an opportunist, when I get into this funk, he is right there to add his negative thoughts into my head.  I just have to remember that he has no control over me anymore.  I am not a part of his worldly plan.  I have faith and believe in a much more powerful One and He has a plan for me.  I just have to draw my Jesus closer to me and ward off the evil one.   I have to remember not to let my guard down, because the enemy will pounce.  I’m so glad I have Him to turn to when I get this way.  He always lifts me up from this place and puts me back on His road.  He never gets tired of putting me back on His road, no matter how many times I wander into the desert.  How comforting is that?  How great is He?

It’s so close to Friday, I can taste it!

The first full day on antibiotics and I feel okay, except for this pesky pneumonia sounding cough.  It’s still early, so I’ll be able to get some rest, thank goodness!  I am so glad tomorrow is Friday, I could do a jig!  The week wasn’t too bad.  It had it’s slow moments, however, it has gone pretty fast!

Next Thursday we will be in Lincoln, NE. for 10 days.  I just spoke with my son and talked to our granddaughter.  She’s is so funny.  She was so excited talking to her grandpa, that she couldn’t spit the words out.  Her brain was moving too fast for her mouth, I guess.  We can’t wait to see them.

Is the weather strange wherever you are?  It can be nice and blue sky, then the next day, it’s cold, windy & cloudy.  I wish it would make up its mind.  I think we all are tired of being sick.  I just got off the phone with my nephew in Missouri and their family has been ill the past 4 days.  

From Freaky Friday: 

Nighty Night ya’ll.

Why ?

We didn’t get yelled at too bad.  Just the usual lecture and we both have antibiotics to get rid of this garbahge in our lungs again.  I may have to up my diabetes meds and if that doesn’t work, he may add another one to it.  Do you think I will heed his warning?  It’s so hard.  I can’t get back on track and I have no desire to get back on track.  We will see.  *sigh*  I love my comfort foods way too much!

Do you ever wonder why we do the things we do?  Why do I eat all the wrong foods?  Why do I drive like a race car driver?  Why do I agree with the doc, then I get home and do what I want?  Why don’t I want to get out and get active?  Why does a candy bar sound really good right now?  hmmm, I might even have one somewhere hidden. 

If I had the answers, I’d have this body whipped into shape … LOL … as if! 

Well, I guess I will sign off.  Not much happening and I’m ready to climb into bed and wait for the sandman.  Have a great evening ya’ll!

How was everyone’s Easter?

Today we sang at all three services.  The hardest part was the call time, 6:45 AM, so we could do a quick run through before the first service at 8am.  Of course, I was late, didn’t make it until almost 7AM, breaking every driving law known to man.   It’s always so much fun being one of the last people to arrive.  You get teased by all the choir members already on stage.  LOL … oh well, I deserved it. 

It was pretty awesome seeing the church so crowded at all services AND to hear them sing, clap and praise with the arts team leading.  Such a blessing on this Easter.

I got home and pretty much vegged the rest of the day.  I have some congestion in my lungs that has me a bit concerned.  Good thing we have a doc appointment on Wednesday.

I did manage to watch Gene Simmons Family Jewels today on A&E.  It was the one where he and his daughter, Sophie, go to Camp Pendleton to run the obstacle course, etc.  I laughed hysterically.  Then I was impressed, he and his daugther visit the injured vets at the VA hospital.  It was very touching and you could see how it affected them.  If you haven’t seen it, check it out online at A&E.  Yeah, okay, I’ll admit it, I’m kinda hooked on the show.  Why?  I have no idea.  Check out his mini-bio - interesting, I had no idea.  Oh and OMG on the number of women he’s been with.  And I thought hubby had a record on that one!  Geesh!

The rest of the day was spent watching movies on TV.  It felt good to finally relax after 3 days of singing. 

I’m not sure our Wednesday doc appointment will be a good one.  I’ve been monitering hubby’s blood sugar and it is above the normal range.  Not quite as high as mine, however, higher than it should be.  If he does in fact have diabetes, well, that might explain the swelling in his ankles.  So, Wednesday we both will get scolded by the doc.

Not much else is new here.  I hope you all have a great week!

Nighty night, ya’ll!

Wonderful start of Easter Weekend

I am all jazzed.  The first 2 Easter Services are behind us.  I come off the stage so full of adrenelin, I could go dancing all night long.   Of course, getting off the stage into the green room is a bit harder, since it is pitch black. 

During the final rehearsal before the first service, it is a blackout when we come on stage.  Since I am first in line to get onto the riser, I couldn’t see where the end of the riser was.  So when the lights came back up, I was still trying to feel my way to the end.  LOL … thankfully, one of my choir mates, who is also the same person that stands next to me, found some glow in the dark tape and marked the end and corner.  With my clutziness, I could see me walking off the riser and tumbling off the stage onto the floor.  Wouldn’t that be impressive?!?!  LOL

The food tent was set up and again, there was so much food for everyone to enjoy.  Two years ago, was our first time at CVC.  The Easter Service was so impressive with the drama/teaching and then all the food.  It’s almost like coming home.

Well, five more services to go.  I better get to bed.  You all have a Great Easter Weekend!! 

Quickie?

I have just a few minutes before I have to hit the sack.  My eyes are drooping, however, I wanted to say hey to ya’ll!

We got back from Utah late Tuesday night.  Exhausted and sore from sitting.  This morning hubby had his physical therapy, I had an eye doc appt in the afternoon, so hubby had to take me there because of my diabetes, they have to do the whole dialate the eye thing.  My eyes still hurt from the glaucoma test.  Thankfully, there still is no diabetes in my eye, however, I am so nearsighted that my eyeball is pulling the retna … unfortunately, not much they can do about that right now.  I don’t understand how last time I went to the eye doc, they said I didn’t need bifocals, when I had them the time before last.  This time, I need them again.  Strange, but then again, it is me we are talking about.

We went to our standing monthly regular doc appointment and the office was closed.  I guess the docs office has been trying to call us for 3 days.  I still don’t understand why they don’t call our cell phones.  We are hardly ever home during the day.  Oh well, guess, we will have to figure a new day.

We had a great time with the grandchildren.  Our Sweet Angel has grown so much and she’s such a cutie!  Our little bud, who’s going to be 6 yrs old this year is getting so tall.  He swam with grandpa all 3 days.  Thanks to mother nature, grandma got to sit out the swimming.  LOL … probably a good thing, I’m not much of a swimmer. 

I just came back from the Easter Program rehearsal.  It is going to be a good program.  I wish you all could come and see it.  It’s amazing the work that everyone is willing to do for Easter.  All the arts ministry get involved and the church volunteers bring food/sandwiches/fruit/casseroles/meatballs all 3 days for the congregation and guests to enjoy.  Such a blessing to be part of this. 

Well, so much for a quickie note, I had better sign off and get to bed.

Nighty ya’ll!

AAHH!!

Baileys, Kahlua and Cream on the rocks and I am starting to relax.  I don’t drink often because of my medical condition and medicines I’m on, however, there are times when the only thing that can calm me right down is a drink.   How lame is that?

I’ve had a frustrating night at church.  Surprisingly it wasn’t the children,  however, the other adults.  I know, the other adults are human and I am human and sometimes we clash.  *sigh*  I spent my drive home yelling at God.  I could see Jesus sitting next to me shaking His head and asking if I was done yet.  Of course, I kept on blah blah blahing and worked myself up into a major fit. 

Poor hubby knows something is wrong, but I won’t say anything, because it is just me being a worldy human being.  So, I guess I am frustrated with myself and everyone else.  Oh well.  Life goes on …

In the Carson City paper, they were calling for troop support.  Sending Thank You cards to the troops for the 4th of July.  I thought it would be a great way for those of us here, to say thank you to those who are fighting so we can have the freedoms we have in this country.  If you are interested in this project, click here  What a great way to get involved in supporting the troops in harms way.  With my son a former Marine and one of my sons-in-law is currently in the Air National Guard, I feel it is just a small thing I can do to thank them for being away from their loved ones, doing what needs to be done to protect our freedoms, that we take for granted.  So if you feel led, please follow the instructions on the flyer and send as many cards and/or letters as you can. 

I have one more day of work and then we are off to Utah.  The weather looks like it will be snowy/rainy, but I don’t care.  There’s an indoor pool at our hotel and we plan on using it!  Plus there’s a mall … LOL

Then we come home for 2 weeks and then gone again to Nebraska.  Our son and his wife sent us tickets to visit.  So the first 1/2 of April we will be gone.  After that, hubby has to find a job and I go back to work.  Ah, reality, … sure does suck!  We have to decide if we are going to continue to rent this house we are in or find another.  I’m not sure if I am up for another move so soon, however, it will depend on if we can afford the rent payments on our present income.  I still vote for a travel trailer and park it in an RV Park.  Sell and/or Store our crap and buy the trailer.  Something to think about!  Maybe we will start checking them out and see how we could pull that off. 

Well, I best get to bed, now that I’m feeling pretty mellow.  Nighty Night ya’ll.  Talk at ya soon.

AARRGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever have one of those nights?  I want to throw everything across the room and hear glass shatter, plastic break, blinds bend and animals run!  I was even thinking of driving my vehicle into a wall, just to crash something!  Good thing I’m home.  I think I’ll medicate myself and go to sleep.

Hope you all have a heck of a better evening than I have.