Here I am

I went to choir practice tonight and instead of singing, we shared.  They had a game that we all had to play and I tried to get pictures, but only got a few.  Then we sat and shared what God has done in our lives.  One of the leaders had mentioned that it’s hard to be like Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  To say, “Here I am”, when God calls us.  To have the courage to obey Him in what He asks. 

I almost didn’t go tonight.  The weather was bad driving off the mountain and it looked like it would start snowing in the valley any minute.  But I kept getting nudged to get out the door and get to the church.  I am not one who can open up and share what is in my heart.  When I have to do this, my mind goes blank and the words get jumbled.  Again, another nudge and another step out of my comfort zone.  However, I did share, and I did participate in the games and I did have a great time.  Tonight was exactly what I needed to get back on His path.  The one I didn’t realize I had strayed from.  Tonight, opened my eyes and showed me that I was in the wilderness … again.

I feel so blessed when I’m in the room with my fellow choir mates.  They are a pretty awesome bunch.

Lazy Weekend

It is 7pm and I did in fact stay inside all weekend.  Didn’t go anywhere, just relaxed and read the 3 Stephanie Plum books I picked up at the library.  I was lost in the bounty hunter world in Trenton, NJ.  Laughing and drooling at a couple of the men in her life.  It is so much fun to visit her world in my mind.  I asked hubby to stop at the library and pick up the next 3 books.  I cannot wait to read about her next adventure.   I know, I should get a life … LOL … oh well.

It snowed again today so I get to shlosh up the mountain to work.  I have such a love/hate relationship with snow.  It is beautiful to look at, but sucky to drive in.

I’m feeling better, however, my blood sugar is still out of control.  I sneaked a peak at the scale and I have lost a little over 4 pounds.  Hah, we will see how long this lasts.  For being home, Saturday was my better day on staying on my shakes.  Today was harder since hubby was home.  But I did not do too bad. 

Hubby goes to the surgeon on Wednesday to find out about his back.  Whether or not surgery is going to be required.  Then, that will determine when he’s retiring.  This way he can finally heal, then find a job he wants to do or something that he enjoys.  Maybe I can get him to start writing again.  That would be good.

SuperBowl Sunday, are you all ready for it?  So much speculation about Brady’s foot.  I wonder how that’s affecting the point spread.  Will I watch, possibly.  I may flip back and forth, unless I’m too involved in another bail enforcement adventure. 

That’s what is new with me … LOL … nothing … so, how is it on your end?

Hope you all have a great week!

It’s Friday …. Yippeee!!!!

I can rest all weekend.  I am not planning on going anywhere!  I just want to stay in the house, try to get better and read. 

I’m on the 4th Stephanie Plum Series and I just love getting lost in her bounty hunter world.  Yes, I still laugh out loud while reading these books.   The only bad thing about doing nothing on the weekend is the weekend flies by.  Have you noticed that?  If you have a busy weekend, it feels like you’ve accomplished alot.  When you laze around and read or watch the tele, the weekend flies. 

The best thing for me this weekend is to stay in, stay away from the cold and continue to take my meds so I am better on Monday. 

I hope y’all have a great weekend!

I have had it!!

I came home Tuesday night thoroughly disgusted with myself.  I still wasn’t feeling well.  I felt like a blob and actually looked like one.  So, I talked to my daughter and told her that I am finally ready to start our challenge again, since I have to get my weight, diabetes and health in line so I am no longer sick … because this sick stuff … sucks!!

Tuesday night I came home with soy milk and frozen berries.  I also picked up a bunch of healthy choice meals, since I don’t want to cook, right now.  This is my second day on my protein shakes for breakfast and lunch and a healthy choice meal for dinner and I have to tell you, my skin doesn’t feel dry.  This is winter and my skin usually is so dry that my fingers crack at the tips.  I’m looking at each of my digits and they are no longer cracked and this is only the 2nd day!  I am jazzed.  The belly is getting a little smaller.  I know this because I don’t have to suck in the gut to button my jeans.  So I’m thinking, okay, this isn’t so bad.  Wednesday was hard, being the first day and all.  I still had my fruit for snacks and I found out apples and peanut butter is really good! 

Wednesday was hard, I found out I was having a relapse.  I was sick last week, took all my antibiotics and I wasn’t completely better.  Doc said I had wheezing in my left lung … dang … not something I wanted to hear.  So, now I have a new antibiotic, which I hope knocks this out of me … FINALLY!! 

I’ve again missed participating in the ministries I’m involved with at church … *sigh* … but whatever I have, I don’t want to spread it around AND I really want to get rid of it for good!  So, getting rid of the gut, controlling my blood sugar will definately help me feel better and boost my immunity so I don’t continue to be sick.

Why is it that I continue to eat everything until I have had enough?  Why don’t I have the discipline to say … no to anything sweet?  I am such a sugarholic!  Of course, that is why I’m in the health mess that I am in now.  Even though Wednesday was a hard first diet day, I was surprised that I didn’t cave when the office had cinnamon rolls for one of our salesman’s birthday.  I do have to admit that someone didn’t shut the lid tight and I could smell them at my desk.  I had to get up and close the lid.  I wasn’t getting tempted, however, I figured, the first day, I better not push my luck!

I haven’t lost enough to feel like exercising yet.  Yes, I know, exercising is one of the best things for me, but when you feel and look like a blob, ya don’t wanna be jiggling the blob too much, trust me on that one! 

I’m not sure how long I’m going to do the protein shakes for breakfast and lunch.  I want to get a jump start and then go from there. 

So, inquiry minds want to know … What is your food weakness?  For some it’s salt, others it is sugar.  What is your favorite type of food?  What is your favorite dessert?

My answers – well, you know my weakness – sweets.  Favorite type of food – as long as it tastes great and is nice and rich!  I’m not into eating “bate” as my husband calls it.  I like California rolls, but not the raw sushimi stuff.    Dessert – aaahhh … so many, so little time. Ya know if all this stuff is bad for you, then why the heck do they make it taste so darn good!!!!!!   Oh, and GH, great looking pizza on your site!!  I wanted to lick the monitor! 

How is your Sunday going?

It is pretty bad when one has way too many channels on Direct TV and there isn’t anything worth watching.  So the Patriots/Charger game is on.  Since neither of these teams are my favorites, I like to root for the underdog.  So, it will be interesting to see what happens.  I always feel bad for the team that loses the game. 

It is especially hard to watch the team that loses the Superbowl.  The pain on their faces can be felt through the television.  Makes me thankful that I do not have HDTV!  So, who do you predict will be in the Superbowl this year?  Any guesses?  If you listen to the experts, it’s the Patriots/Packers.  However, one never knows until the final 2 minutes are over tonight.

I originally wanted to go to the movies today.  I really want to see “The Bucket List”.  However, I slept in and here it is almost 12:30 and I’m still in my jammies … LOL … sorry a visual you probably don’t want to have in your head on Sunday.  I just can’t get motivated.  I still am not feeling that great and the thought of jumping in the shower and doing the clean thing, has me worn out already.  So, here I am on my rear typing and watching grown men fall all over a football.

Yes, it is Sunday and it is laundry day, but … hmmm, I think I can get through Monday without doing laundry … LOL … maybe I can talk hubby into doing the laundry tomorrow since he’s off.  He’s one of the lucky one’s that has MLK day off.   No, I don’t worry about him doing laundry, he probably does it better than I do.  

If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?  If you could do anything as your career what would you do?  If you could live anywhere, where would you live? 

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, will be to let me know the answers to the questions above.  I’m curious.  Do I have answers to those questions?  For me, I do, but I want to see what all your desires are.

Some of you there is no thinking about it.  You just know.  For others, it’s a thinkin’ thing.   Happy thinking.

The continuation of Scott & Rene

If you haven’t guessed, I just finished watching the first episode of the of Scott Baio 46 and … pregnant.   Okay, I have to confess that I love, just absolutely LOVE watching guys squirm.  So, watching him freak out from the start of the show through the hour,  had me laughing.  You can see his old world crumbling and his new world taking shape.  I can’t wait until the next one.   BTW, I loved the 7300+ square foot house they just bought.  Where can I sign up to be the nanny?

Another V8 moment

So I was listening to KLove on my way to the doctor’s office.  Yes, folks I am sick yet again.  My doc and the pharmacy loves it … Anyway …

There was a quick testimony and the person was talking about how she is God’s child and how cool was that to be one of His children.  I almost did the V8 slap and went .. DUH!  What a great thing to know that I am His child and that He loves me.  So, in thinking that, I remembered a song … so, ya wanna come over to my father’s house??

Audio Adrenaline-Big House

Don’t you hate the taste of crow?

Yes, I had to eat my share of crow this weekend.  I’ve managed to send an email to the wrong person and was frustrated that I hadn’t heard from that person.  So all of January I was feeling like the red headed bastard step child and getting ticked off.  I was so blind in my anger/frustration that I refused to contact that person.

Well, I found out yesterday that I was the dope that screwed up.  I sent the email to the wrong person. 

Don’t you hate it when pride gets in the way?  I have emailed the correct person and apologized for the misunderstanding. 

For those of us that have to occassionally eat crow, I hope someone comes up with a good recipe!

Have a good day ya’ll!!

Reflection and the insomniac

It’s another one of those nights that I wake up and can’t go back to sleep.  I’m not sure about you, but I wake up to music in my head.  For the past couple of nights it has been Casting Crowns.  Last night was “What if His people prayed” and tonight it is “The American Dream”  The last line of The American Dream is being hauntingly repeated, “All they ever wanted was you” 

Maybe it is my subconscious reflecting on my life.  While conscious I have been doing alot of thinking about my past and what regrets I have or what mistakes I’ve made.  With what has happened lately, I suppose it makes me wonder about my life and the direction I took. 

What did you want to be when you grew up?  Are you doing what you wanted to be? 

I’ve wanted to be many things.  I guess the saying, ”Jack of all trades, master of none” fits me.  When I was in school, I wanted to be a special ed teacher.  That’s about as far as that went, since I didn’t want to finish college.  My family kept telling me to get involved in computers.  Of course back then, the computers were much larger and took up a whole room.  Looking back, I should have pursued that profession. 

So, this is the list of things I wanted to be.  I know some of you are going to laugh, as a matter of fact, I have.  Anyway, here goes: 

• Work for an airline
• Work for a construction company
• Work for a lender
• Work in real estate
• Work for a bank
• Special Ed Teacher
• Computer specialist
• Roadie for a group
• Sing

So, what have I accomplished?  I’ve actually done 5 of the 9.  Not too bad, however the ones that would have been a better security for the future are the teacher or the computer person.   Now the airline thing … I could get into that.  I figure once my job working for a sub-contractor is done, I’m going to pursue an airline job.  I may be old with a hearing aid and a cane by then, but hey, I’d get to fly the friendly skies.  LOL  Of course, if the roadie job opens up, I may jump at that!

I was thinking what kind of regrets I have in my 49 years.  Most of them involve family.  I regret when I was working for a title company, I spent way to many hours working for the American Dream and not spending the time with my children.  In the evenings, I would pick my kids up, feed them, go back to my office with a blanket and a TV and they would be hanging out and falling asleep on the floor while I worked until 10pm, 11pm or 12am.  When they were older, I was busy working.  That must be why the song “The American Dream” is running through my head and the last line keeps repeating itself.  I am so glad I’ve retired from that profession.  Unfortunately, I lost spending time with my children when they were young. 

Do I have other regrets?  The biggest one is walking away from my maker.  However, coming back to Him was such a joy.  At present, any other regrets are playing hide and seek in my brain.  Something just comes to surface and as I’m trying to reach it, it disappears. 

I guess, what it boils down to is that I want to live the rest of my life without regrets.  To not be hesitant or afraid to step out of my comfort zone and chase whatever lion comes my way.  Hmmm, I think I just made my New Year’s Resolution.   Let’s see if I can keep it.

The weight of those chains

Someone near and dear to my heart has been hospitalized due to those bondage chains.  This person’s family had to do the hardest thing of putting this person in the hospital.  Just the fear, alone, would make someone hesitate and worry about doing the right thing.  To this family, I support what you had to do in order to help your loved one.  God knows it isn’t an easy task and thank God, you had the strength and courage to do what you know in your heart is right.

To my readers, I am asking for your prayers to lift this person and their family up to God for continued strength and courage to navigate through the turmoil they are in the middle of. 

Thank you.